Fawn Hall Tells All Sung by Fawn Hall

My friends back in college will never believe
all the famous people that I've got to meet.
The faces that we see every day on T. V.
I get to make their coffee, I get to serve them tea.

My boss is Ollie North. He's a really great guy.
He always gives me raises. I never ask him why.
He works for our security. He works in secrecy.
He believes in ethnic purity. I'm not sure what that means.

Ollie's boss is Admiral John. He runs the Pentagon.
He's always traveling somewhere & I wonder where he's gone.
I wonder if he's not healthy. His nose is always runny
and in the light he blinks his eyes & his pipe smells kind of funny.

Bob McFarlane comes around every week or two.
He brings in lots of papers for Ollie & I to sort through.
When the numbers don't add up, I'm afraid I've made mistakes.
They're kind & understanding. They say I'm doing great.

I'm not sure what to think about Secord & Hakim.
Albert seems so sneaky, & Richard acts so mean.
But when they're together, they're happy as two clams.
One time in the corridor I saw them holding hands.

When the President holds a meeting, I'm not to write things down.
I wonder why I'm not supposed to - his memory's not too sound.
I hope that he hangs in there until election day.
"cause George the wimp with noodle limp has nothing new to say.

Ollie's been to Nicaragua & El Salvador.
Wherever there is trouble, he's sure to bring some more.
Noriega's in a jam, and Ollie's on the way.
When the General needs advice, Ollie has lots to say.

Have I got a DEAL for YOU !!?! Sung by Albert Hakim & the N.R.A. Glee Club

They pick me up when I park my car & they show me badges when I ask 'em who they are.
Just a couple of questions, won't take long. It's just routine, but I've heard that song before.

I know they're not really after me. I'm just a medium fish in a crowded sea.
Just as long as I keep up the status quo with my payoffs high & my profile low.

I'm a dealer in carats, coke, & concrete. I come highly recommended & I'm very discreet.
Got connections in Tuscon & Timbuktu. Tell me what you need, I'll make the deal for you.

Have I got a deal for you!

Yeah, I know it's not really me they're after. I can tell by their eyes & their easy laughter.
Just hoping I'll lead 'em to some bigger prey, but anyone could spot 'em a half a mile away.

They ask me this or that so I put on my show. Give 'em false information. Tell 'em I don't know.
It's just a habit of mine, learned it in my youth.
They've gotcha by the balls if you tell 'em the truth.

Well, I'm a dealer in gold,ganga, & guns. South American teak ? Well, I can get a few tons.
No problem for me, it's what I do. Everybody needs something, & I got a deal for you.

Have I got a deal for you !!

I just got back from Honduras & El Salvador.
You know, I make a lot of money whenever there's a war. Those goddam latins are so volatile,
you can keep 'em fighting with a lie & a smile. ( Arabs are even easier ).

I do contract work for the CIA. They keep the Feds off my back & I like it that way.
Met the President once & he's quite a guy. He's a cheap SOB, but he knows how to lie.

I'm a dealer in Harriers, Hueys, & Hawks. I can get you a seat at the Geneva talks.
Missiles or muscles, I come through. If you're thinking about a war, have I got a deal for you !!!

North, South, East, West...Money's what I like the best. Quality merchandise sold with a smile.
When the bomb goes off, I'll be miles & miles away.

I've seen Russians go crazy over black market blue jeans.
I've seen the burned out stars of the silver screen, and the glassy eyed pose of a beauty queen
with a room full of reporters & a buttfull of beans.

I'm a dealer in liquor, lumber, & 'ludes, & I've bought a few women when I've been in the mood.
You want your hostages back, well, I can do that, too.
I've got the best of intentions....have I got a deal for you !!!!

Have I got a DEAL for You !!!!!!

Someday when I die, I'll probably go to hell. From what I've heard of heaven, It's just as well.
I've heard that the devil is a dealing guy.
When I get down there, I'll look him straight in the eye and say...

HAVE I GOT A DEAL FOR YOU !!!!


The Shredder Sung by Ollie & Fawn

Ollie : I am the shredder. I always get what I need.
I am the shredder. Feed me Presidential decree.

Operation nonselective. Everything is equal to me.
Give me your orders. I am the killing machine.

Fawn : Ollie. Dear Ollie. There's somebody coming up the stairs.
Ollie. Dear Ollie. They're coming, but with you, I'm not scared

We've got the shredder. The killing machine's on our side.
Only the shredder knows what goes on in our minds.

Ollie : Shred up the papers. Shred up conflicting debris.
Shred up the memos. Fabricate last year's story.

I have a dream of a far greater kingdom to come.
In my sweet dreams...shredding the Constitution.

When the shit hits the fan Sung by Richard Secord

With the family by the fire when I got the word.
Soon my feet are in the flames. A weasel leaked the word.

Down the secret corridors where the timid never tread.
No place here for tattletales. You could lose your head.

Disappear the files. Open up the alibis.
Make a few long distance calls. Dead men tell no lies.

Do your job, hide your dirt, flush it down the can.
When the shit hits the fan, you blame it on a dead man.

Order the ordnance men while taking out the trash.
Capitol Hill at 9 am. Hide the drugs and cash.

Get out the special poisons. Slip 'em in the tea.
That will cure the boss' headache if he starts to worry.

Polish up the uniform. Make the buttons shine.
Practise the flag pledge. Do another line.

Smile and stick out the jaw. Speak loud and firm.
Make the senators look like fools. Make the worms turn.

When heads start to roll, I keep my hands clean.
Nobody saw nothing. You dig what I mean ?

Do your job. Hide your dirt. Flush it down the can.
When the shit hits the fan, blame it on a dead man.

Because It's Right Sung by George Bush & the GOP Whistlers

How come I'm sending arms to Nicaragua
even though the Congress tells us nix ?
How come I've got those spies down in Managua
to spy on all the commies' dirty tricks ?

Because it's right.
It might even be legal.
I'm not asking you for money. I'm just telling you the facts.
Because it's right. I don't care how it gets done.
Because it's right and right makes might and might makes right.

You may wonder what could be my motivation
for lying under oath to those I serve.
But I'm the only one on earth who sees salvation.
I'm throwing our own congressmen a curve.

Because it's right & I see it clearly.
There's a way around the law with the White House on your side.
Because it's right, I don't care how it gets done.
Because it's right and right makes might and might makes right.

There's nothing wrong with trading arms for hostages,
if that's the only way to get them free.
Their rellatives were getting on the President's nerves.
I said ," Hey , Ron, just leave it up to me ! "

We gave the contras everthing they needed.
with full instructions from the CIA.
I don't deserve the way that I've been treated.
If any body asks me , I will say....

I did it right, for God & Country
The Constitution's on my side, just read it and you'll see.
Because it's right, I don't care how it gets done.
Because it's right and right makes might and might makes right.

Panama Canal Mainline Sung by Manuel Noriega

Come on down to the Panama Canal Mainline.
Come on down you know we're gonna have a real good time.
You can get anything you want...Mainline

Bring all your guns to the Panama Canal Mainline.
Bring all your guns, you know we're gonna have a real good time.
You can kill anyone you want...Mainline

Ship all your drugs through the Panama Canal Mainline
Ship all your drugs, you know we're gonna have a real good time.
If you give me a little of yours, I won't tell anybody 'bout your secret wars.

Mainline.....

Revelation Sung by Ollie & Manuel

Manuel : Ollie, boy, you've done me proud.
I can't say this very loud.
but there's something I can tell you.
Ollie : I'm all ears general, sir.
Trust me to not say a word.
Cross my heart and Boy Scout's honor.
Manuel : Remember King Arthur when he was a babe ?
They feared for his life, so they hid him away.
Merlin had foreseen...Arthur would rise up alone
and pull the sword from the stone !
Ollie : Yes, sir, I know the tale.
I know it very well.
What's it got to do with me , pray tell ?
Manuel : Remember Darth Vader, in the movie STAR WARS ?
He seemed such a villian, 'til we learned
something more..
What did he say to Luke
when his battle was won ?
Young Skywalker was really his son !
Ollie : I believe in technology.
Star Wars will be reality.
How is this pertinent to you and me ?
Manuel : We've got more in common than N.O.R in our names.
Now it's your turn to rise up in fame !
You'll be greater than me !
Better than the world's ever seen !
You're gonna be Panama's new KING !!!!!!!!!!



King of Panama Sung by Ollie

Sound the horns!! Bang the drums !!
I am the King of Panama, of Panama !!
Clear the way !! Stand aside now !!
I am the King of Panama, of Panama !!

I know the way to run the country.
Capitalism is the only true democracy.
On your knees !! Bow before me !!
The mighty King of Panama is here.

Raise the flag !! Pledge allegiance !!
I am the King of Panama, of Panama !!
Light the flame !! Bring the virgin !!
I am the King of Panama, of Panama !!

It's my canal. Charge the Russians double.
If they complain, we'll blow them all to kingdom come !!
To your knees !! Kneel in wonder !!
The mighty King of Panama is here !!

King Oliver I ! At last some recognition !
I'm in control !! Don't call me Ollie anymore !!
Sound the charge !! Fire the cannon !!
The mighty King of Panama is here !!

Nobody Loves Me 2-nite Sung by Ollie

I was the man, the man that they turned to.
The man who could get the thing done.
I made the plan, I followed my orders.
Now I'm the man on the run.

Nobody loves me tonight.
No recommendations, no medals so bright.
I only did what was right.
But nobody loves me tonight.

Y'know, back when I was just a baby marine, hadn't even thrown my first hand grenade, my daddy, the general, we used to call him, sat me down on his knee and said, " Son !"
" Yessir !" I said.
" Son ! " , he said , " One day you'll grow up to be the best damn marine in the corps. But I always want you to remember to do what's right. "
" Yessir ! ", I said. " But what IS right , sir ? "
" Son !", he said, " Right is... right is always voting republican, to support the military-industrial complex. Right is killing all the gooks & geeks & everyone else who doesn't follow our American style of democracy. Which is the right kind of democracy. Right is burnin' crosses on those black folks' lawns, & making surethey don't git too uppity. Right is supporting any government that keeps our businesses strong, and overthrowing those that want to give some of our hard-earned profits to those lazy peasants. Right is not letting those bleeding heart liberals get their hands on any real power. They're all communists anyway. Yes, son, right is even lying to Congress if that's what it takes. Follow my advice, son, and one day you'll have the power to do anything for the good of the country. Someday, you'll have your own office and a pretty bimbo for a secretary. Remember, son, that the right ARE right, and the left gets what's left over."

Well, I followed the general's advice. And it did all happen, just the way he said. But, just like he said, you can't trust those damn A-rabs.

Now here I stand alone. My friends have all turned their backs. My wife ran away with Albert. My kids wear paper bags on their heads when I'm around. All I've got left is my uniform and my security system. I feel like the only person on the Planet Earth.

Nobody loves me tonight.
No recommendations, no medals so bright.
I only did what was right.
But nobody loves me tonight.


Let's Drink Sung by assorted ne'er-do-wells at Rosie's Land o' Liberty Cantina.
including John Hall, Adolpho Calero, Ed Meese,
and old what's-his-name Hosenfus.

Let's drink to democracy, from sea to shining sea.
Raise your glass to Freedom Fighters, fighting to be free.

Chorus A : The end justifies the means. ( If you know what I mean )
Let's drink together, let's fight together. We'll go down in history.

Here's a toast to OLIVER I, the King of Panama.
Alexander, Ceasar, Napolean - he's greater than them all.

Chorus B : When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
Nothing can stand in our way.
Let's drink together, let's fight together.
We'll go down in history !

Toss back another for the soldiers of fortune.
We wish there were more than a few.
If Congress delays 'em, the cartels'll pay 'em,
as long as there's killing to do !

Slosh down a brew for President Reagan
the champion of our cause.
Maybe next Christmas, he'll fly down our weapons
dressed up like Santa Claus.

Chorus A

Hey now ! Chugalug for good ol' George Bush !
The hero who nobody knows.
When the money runs low, he knows where to go.
Khomeni is running the show.

Chorus B